15th Sept, A Day To Remember..

hi!!!

It's been an emotional day for me although I didn't show much sign of emo-ing. I hung out with my friends, I mean old friends which was so helpful during the morning. I guess it is a little private here to expose who they are. Haha..

Yeah! Some got me right. I don't like to share my stuffs with people. I will only share bullshit I guess. Well, I am the man of crap. Er..which means, I crap a lot. Actually, I am not having a good mood currently and I can't manage to sleep although I feel quite tired now. I had a good laugh just now but still, the scar is there and it is one costly mistake. Regret? I'll take it as a reminder for me. I learned a lot actually. I think 'lesson' sounds more suitable, right? But, who cares?

Get straight to the point. I was quite shocked actually but I am extremely grateful to have such buddies( sounds more rapat to me) around me. I know they are trying to help. I know one of you told me, "I did nothing". But, you guys did a great job. Seriously, for those(those?) who spoke and for those who kept quiet. Thanks so much. Sorry for being so 'por ma'.

But, being emotional is not just because of that. I know some of you might think of the date. Well, fine. Sorry, you are incorrect. I noticed myself for almost spreading out some secrets of mine. Sorry, I just don't share. Sometimes, I do need someone but to crap with me when I am emotional. But, usually, I think loneliness will be my best partner. Whenever I revealed my secrets, I will feel uneasy. Don't ask me why because I also wanna know why.

What to do? I just hope I will be more careful during speaking? Or talking? Crapping? Whatever la...But when did I last reveal my personal stuff? That day, right? Remember that day I told you about...Yalo, that day la!

But,anyway, I love their stories ^^. They don't get mine...hahaha

I would like to say this to a lady. I hope she reads my blog. Sorry for being annoying but that's just me. This shows that you are cute. And to you guys out there reading this, please don't open your eyes so big. I am not confessing or anything. I don't have feelings for her. I mean it!

Coming back to my weird characteristic or behaviour. I know I told only part of my problems or stories to you all. It's like a movie with introduction but without the climax and ending. You can't blame me for that. "Share la a bit" ," Tell us something about it". That's what you all said to me and I agree to fulfill your request. If I ever tell you a full version, just dream on.

Miss my poem? I wrote some part of it but due to the outing just now, I just saved it. Hope to finish it soon but of course, I need inspiration.

There was a guy. I was quite amazed of that guy actually. He was being scolded for so long,' stupid people with you stupid car'. He still managed to smile to his friends. Where is his pride? He doesn't have pride actually. You can't blame him. This is him. I wonder how long will he get his pride? But, at least what he did bring a good ending. He lives without pride but did he do it right?

-steam-

My Past Love Life...

hi!!!

Have been studying just now and it's tough.Really! TOUGH!

Life is just as tough as it is. Even I can't spare my studies from it. What the heck am I crapping?

Thinking of the past makes me feel so stupid although I don't admit I am clever and smart with my current status. If I have a time machine, should I go back to mend such mistakes? Will it be better if I just take them as lessons of life? Experience? Even with time machine I am still having dilemma. What a joke?

Actually, I should be very grateful to have such life even for the mistakes in the past. Without the mistakes, I may not be who I am today. Sometimes, I thought of the special 2 persons of my past. How are they? We don't even contact each other anymore. I know I was wrong and bad to them but it is history. But at least I know what is really meant by 'Good Boyfriend'. I have to thank them for this. HEY! This doesn't mean that I was a bad bf, ok?

There are still some mysteries between me and my first ex. A lot of people asked me, "WHY?"( Why break?)

And there are few versions of rumours about how bad I was when I was with her. And I didn't even defend myself and explain. To some people, I just deny. To some, I didn't answer. Still there are a lot of "WHY's". Well, I just tell you how did I think. If I explained and defended myself, will it help? Will this stop her from spreading anymore rumours? I guess it will be more, right? If you guys believe in me, do I ever need to explain? Take your time and think about that.

That's why some people are calling me 'crazy'. I used my image to pass one of the tests of life.

In fact, rumours stopped spreading in a short while. But I would like to thank those who informed me about the case. Without you, I don't think I will realize such happening in my life.

I am not trying to say she is bad. She was caring towards me indeed :P

But... she did not pass my test... Don't ask me why!

When part 1 comes to an end, here comes part 2. Haha..

Part 2 is very simple. We are not meant for each other. But, I fell for her so deeply. This time, it is me to ask 'WHY?' And until now, I don't have a clear answer but I made a hypothesis myself. Woooo.."HYPOTHESIS", a scientific term. Love is blind.

And now, do you know why that I need to consider many things just to get a 3rd gf? Love hurts and scars but, one needs love. Life is meaningless without love.

Thinking of those two... If I don't drive, will they still choose me? I know both of them wanted my time. If I have plenty of time, but without a car, do I still get a 'check' from them?

If I am not one of the top students in my school, will she still choose me? Which she? DON'T ASK!

If I smoke, will they?

Actually I wanted to say sorry but I guess they don't need this anymore. I didn't spend enough time with my first one. I focused too much on my studies but I don't regret for this. I am not a good bf. Fine, at least I admit, right? Maybe you can say I am selfish as I had heard a few trying to pass this message to me years ago.

For the second one, I easily get jealous. And I can hardly trust her. DON'T ASK ME WHY!

So what can I say? Engineering campus saves me from girls. Hahaha... I know there are some but not many. I see my friends having gf in their universities but not me. Well, this is not a bad sign. I can talk to any girl I want. And, I can simply FLIRT! But sometimes, I am lonely. This is life. Give and take. There is no such thing as 'only take' .

Conclusion?

DON'T ASK ME WHY!

*not condemning anybody*

-steam-

Letting Go...

hi!!!

I really don't know what is it about,
Looking at the sun while becoming your cloud,
Always spotting you among the crowd,
Always listening to you, from soft to loud.

I am here to stay,
But I always see you going away,
I hope you will love me anyway,
But what you did is making my heart turned grey.

I am just a song without the soul,
I am the ice without its cold,
I am the knight without his bold,
I am having a heart with a hole.

I am feeling blue,
Thinking of the challenges we had gone through,
Leaving me helpless without any clue,
I am so down but I still don't know what to do.

You were not that heartless,
As you have made me breathless,
I am still under your curse,
And I need you to quench my thirst.

You are treating me like a foe,
You are making me low and slow,
Why do I love you, I don't know,
But happiness will only come if I let you go.

Time will pass and I hope to be stronger,
Hoping that my days with you will be better,
I am still your lover,
But I don't think it will last forever...


-steam-

Mai yi Siao Liao

hi!!!


Beh sai go jai yi liao. Ai ko cek liao. Go jai tat giu ga gui xin xiong.
Bo bi Bo bi...



-steam-

He Hurts

hi!!!


He looks for the phoenix among the birds,
There you see, he flirts,
Showing off his skills with his words,
And indirectly, he hurts.

He is never a good guy,
As he makes girls cry,
He left just to fly,
Without leaving a proper goodbye.

As he leaves, there is surely pain,
He enjoys nothing and nothing to gain,
Trying to make his life white and plain,
Indirectly leaving the girls under the rain.

As the sun appears, he acts nothing,
But obviously he knows everything,
Until now he is still wondering,
Why was he flirting?

He is crazy,
As everyone can see,
This statement doesn't exclude me,
As he himself does not know what is he going to be.

He wants to be free,
And he knows he is extremely sorry,
All he can do is nothing but to flee,
Right now he is extremely worry.

He knows love is never a toy,
And love can't always bring joy,
Therefore, he hasn't deploy,
Here he asked, " Am I a playboy?"

He has been worse,
Treating the phoenix like his nurse,
Again he flirts,
And once again he hurts...



-steam-

Injured!

hi!!!


As you can see, I am injured according to the title. I injured my left thumb for the past few weeks and now it's my right thumb's turn. Can write but with pain of course. My palm is partly swollen. All because of...FOOTBALL!

I noticed that my skills are getting worse and worse. It's like I can't manage to save basic low shots like what I was good at during my secondary school life. Am I having a phobia or what? Currently, I am like a noob even with a pair of gloves. When I see bouncing ball, the first thing in my mind is, "Oh my god, must I go for it or wait?".

Maybe futsal and football is not the same totally. Because I played futsal during my secondary school life. But even I couldn't manage to scoop the ball perfectly. What the heck is going on? People improve and what about me?

I feel a bit disappointed about the goalkeeping stuffs. I know it's just a game but I enjoy diving and saving shots. I managed to dive in the air( not very high I mean), but after the injury I am a NOOB. Can I really dive or was I being blown by wind?

I didn't tell my family about the injury as my dad once said to me, "Stupid ar? become goalkeeper let people shoot at you". But he doesn't understand the fun and excitement when you see the ball flying towards you and BOOM, IT'S A SAVE!

No more football for a week I think T.T

-steam-

Finally....

hi!!!


Finally I am blogging! It's been a while and now, I can access blogger. Yeah!
Had been focusing on my studies for the past few weeks until I seldom online. I hope my hard work will pay off. But in the mean time, I have time for football also. Hehe.. Well, study hard, play hard. I went to play penalties and managed to dive(only saved a few to be precise) but not the top corner yet T.T. Am I too short or I am lacking of skills? Should I say both?

Haven't been home for 2 weeks already and it is going to be another 4 weeks. I just want to save some time and money. Sometimes being 'bo lui lang' is kinda hard. Need to plan and think before spending. Now, my car is almost a white elephant. Parked at the same place for several days. Cycled to lectures and tutorials. But at least it is good fr health right? Hopefully, I won't have such problem once I graduate. OOPs...Is it too early for that? Perhaps so...

By the way, I really miss my home although I went back to island yesterday but I didn't go home. I can't study at home and it's very hot there. How to study? But at least the environment here is more to studying environment and also footballing environment ^^

Well, hope for raya to come soon. Hopefully I will be free to earn some pocket money during raya. If any got 'kang tao', please inform me. Thanks.


-steam-