Have been studying just now and it's tough.Really! TOUGH!
Life is just as tough as it is. Even I can't spare my studies from it. What the heck am I crapping?
Thinking of the past makes me feel so stupid although I don't admit I am clever and smart with my current status. If I have a time machine, should I go back to mend such mistakes? Will it be better if I just take them as lessons of life? Experience? Even with time machine I am still having dilemma. What a joke?
Actually, I should be very grateful to have such life even for the mistakes in the past. Without the mistakes, I may not be who I am today. Sometimes, I thought of the special 2 persons of my past. How are they? We don't even contact each other anymore. I know I was wrong and bad to them but it is history. But at least I know what is really meant by 'Good Boyfriend'. I have to thank them for this. HEY! This doesn't mean that I was a bad bf, ok?
There are still some mysteries between me and my first ex. A lot of people asked me, "WHY?"( Why break?)
And there are few versions of rumours about how bad I was when I was with her. And I didn't even defend myself and explain. To some people, I just deny. To some, I didn't answer. Still there are a lot of "WHY's". Well, I just tell you how did I think. If I explained and defended myself, will it help? Will this stop her from spreading anymore rumours? I guess it will be more, right? If you guys believe in me, do I ever need to explain? Take your time and think about that.
That's why some people are calling me 'crazy'. I used my image to pass one of the tests of life.
In fact, rumours stopped spreading in a short while. But I would like to thank those who informed me about the case. Without you, I don't think I will realize such happening in my life.
I am not trying to say she is bad. She was caring towards me indeed :P
But... she did not pass my test... Don't ask me why!
When part 1 comes to an end, here comes part 2. Haha..
Part 2 is very simple. We are not meant for each other. But, I fell for her so deeply. This time, it is me to ask 'WHY?' And until now, I don't have a clear answer but I made a hypothesis myself. Woooo.."HYPOTHESIS", a scientific term. Love is blind.
And now, do you know why that I need to consider many things just to get a 3rd gf? Love hurts and scars but, one needs love. Life is meaningless without love.
Thinking of those two... If I don't drive, will they still choose me? I know both of them wanted my time. If I have plenty of time, but without a car, do I still get a 'check' from them?
If I am not one of the top students in my school, will she still choose me? Which she? DON'T ASK!
If I smoke, will they?
Actually I wanted to say sorry but I guess they don't need this anymore. I didn't spend enough time with my first one. I focused too much on my studies but I don't regret for this. I am not a good bf. Fine, at least I admit, right? Maybe you can say I am selfish as I had heard a few trying to pass this message to me years ago.
For the second one, I easily get jealous. And I can hardly trust her. DON'T ASK ME WHY!
So what can I say? Engineering campus saves me from girls. Hahaha... I know there are some but not many. I see my friends having gf in their universities but not me. Well, this is not a bad sign. I can talk to any girl I want. And, I can simply FLIRT! But sometimes, I am lonely. This is life. Give and take. There is no such thing as 'only take' .
Conclusion?
DON'T ASK ME WHY!
*not condemning anybody*
-steam-
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