Going Down...

hi!!!

It's a downturn in my life. I thought I can have a step closer towards my dream but, it is still far beyond my reach. Maybe I am pessimistic but still, there is not much hope for me. What else can I do?
Try harder? Give up? I seriously don't know.

Moreover, this semester is not an easy semester for me. It will be a very cramp and busy semester. I know myself well. I am not a clever student. Time is a very important factor for me. Repeating what I did last semester is not a wrong choice but the fun is not there. What I did last semester was really something that amazed me. I bought a book and read it during the first week of the semester. Even during the weekend, I still faced the book. I put away most of my leisure time to study. And I got teased by my friends. Some will even say, ' Study so much, but you still know nothing!' I know I am stupid! I just have to face the fact and go on. To maintain my happy go lucky status, I just smiled with some nice reply of course. Actually, some of the comments hurt me quite terribly.
Right now, I feel it is worthy. Being the dean list holder which was my aim when I first step into the life of tertiary education came true after I put in all my blood, sweat and tears into it. It took me 3 years to achieve that and I know this is nothing new to most of the students.

But to get another dean certificate is not easy for me. I just wasted my first two weeks of my current semester without studying much. In fact, I had fun with my friends which now I feel a little bit of regret. If I studied for the past 2 weeks, I won't feel much of the stress. Well, it's only a 'maybe'.

Going back to the downturn in my life. I just noticed that I know what my ambition really is. At first, I told myself that I wanna be an engineer. But, what kind of engineer? That's the question that took years to find out the answer.

Since I know the answer, I tried to find the training I needed to graduate which is related to my ambition. Unfortunately, I think I screwed up and I need to accept another offer which is not really what I want for the time being. If I get the training that I aimed for, maybe I know what should I do to improve myself for the job. But, I feel that I am the man for the job since my personality suits the job related to troubleshooting and creativity. In short, gone case!

So? It's time to study hard like last semester and being teased as a nerd. I don't wanna study so hard actually. But I just need to in order to improve my CGPA. I don't hope to graduate with a poor pointer. I don't hope to lose my golden opportunity to realise my dream just because of a low CGPA.


If you are reading this, thank you because you have at least understood part of me.




-steam-

New sem, Old dream

hi!!!


Steamer is here, with the start of the new semester, but with the same old dream....



-steam-

Perfectly Flawed

hi!!!

Unbelievable to mention the fact,
You're the diamond with a lengthy crack,
Flawed from the front til the back,
However in my heart you are still so perfect.

I was born just to love you,
Besides that, I don't know what else can I do,
It sounds stupid but it is so true,
The question that left me without a single clue.

Days passed til years,
Shallow line to colourful layers
We laughed with joy and cried with tears,
I am all yours, never hers...


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!


-steam-

Long long time...

hi!!!

It's been a long long time since I last blogged.....




-steam-

Hari Test Hari Jadi...

hi!!!


Bangun awal awal pagi,
Test sudah kat sana nanti,
Makin fikir makin takda hati,
Macam mana pun kenalah pergi.

Test selepas hari jadi,
Mau enjoy pun mesti tunggu nanti,
Hanya revision , tak boleh party,
Harap harap markah bolehlah tinggi.

Test lagi selepas hari jadi,
Macam mana pun takda happy,
Fikir lagi, sedih lagi,
24 jam hanyalah boleh study.

Test habis, mood pun lari,
Answer macam mana pun tak boleh cari,
Ini macam emo la sepanjang hari,
Harap harap ang kong po pi po pi.

Apa boleh wa cakap lagi,
At least birthday cake ada orang kasi,
Ini macam selamatlah hari jadi,
Kepada wa diri sendiri...

-steam-

Left out...

hi!!!

Morning shines,
It's time to open up my eyes,
To see the world of thousand lies,
Accompanied by the flying flies.

I am one of the mice,
Hence, people won't treat me nice,
All I hope is a bowl of rice,
Day by day I am shrinking in size.

Travelling with an aching neck,
No longer the man before I got sacked,
He got jacked and I got the whack,
I covered but I left out my back.

Hair is getting longer,
Skin is getting darker,
Of course I am getting older,
For everything, I am always a loser.

Always and always a loner,

Fighting against hunger,

Hoping tomorrow will be better.
This is the life of a beggar...


-steam-

Lonely Christmas

hi!!!

From left to right,
Everything is in white,
No more scorching sunlight,
From morning til night.

Snow falls from the unreachable height,
Yet so soft and light,
Things so dull and nothing bright,
From morning til night.

Searching far across so wide,
I am not in sight,
No one by my side,
From morning til night.


-steam-