I am in a dangerous state...

hi!!!


It's been more than 2 weeks I have been in single status. Still, I am not used to it. Hahaha...I know I am a flexible person. I can adapt well when I stay in UKM. And then, from UKM to USM, I have no problem at all. But this, I still miss her and I know it's useless to miss someone that is not mine.

Losing her is really a big deal to me. I think you all should know that I always hide myself inside my own world and doing my own stuffs, thinking and solving problems by my own without sharing most of them with my friends even my best friends. But, she is different. I felt quite comfortable by sharing my problems with her. Ya, I know many gals wanna share my problems but...hehe...(I know I am perasan).

When I am alone, I usually study but sometimes I do day dream. And I got once thought of me looking at her holding other guy's hand. Hahahaha...that will be very heart breaking if I still like her during that time. I think it will take quite a long time to let go of her because....I AM A LOYAL GUY!Yeah...agree??

Everytime I go to USM or come back from USM, I will pass her house and, it brings back a lot of memories. I drove so far just to find her. Hahaha...There are a few times I speeded to TAR just don't wanna make her wait for me. Well, and I failed most of the times and I know it's very dangerous. Luckily, my parents don't have any idea of it.hehehe...

Even in USM, I saw a sweet and lovely couple at the canteen. Argh!!!So jealous of them because all the while I have been dreaming of a girl that can always listen to what I said. The obedient but playful type. It's very hard to find a perfect girl, I know that. And during form 4 or form 5, I saw a couple sharing a McD flavor twist ice-cream. It's green in colour. I told myself that one day, I will share it with my girlfriend but, I didn't have the chance. I wonder will I ever have the chance. I know it's just a small matter,but for me, it is one of my dream in my life. But who wanna share it with me?Hahaha...I am not handsome,no rich, not smart...Not handsome won't make a girl proud, not rich and I can't afford to spend on her, not smart and I don't have time for her because I need extra time to study. But, I can't complain much because it's gift from the god.

It's been two weeks now and I wonder what will happen after 2 years. Will I still in love with her? Will I find another one? Or I don't like anyone?

I always ask myself about this.

Will a girl date a guy that doesn't spend enough time with her? Will a girl date a guy that can't even buy her a drink? The guy is me of course. My life is all about studying especially maths. I will get angry and disappointed if I don't have the maths knowledge that I should have. Well, I am weird and maybe the crazy one. Maybe that's why I have two unsuccessful love life. I heard people said that usually the one that loves or is good in maths and physics, they are crazy and usually doesn't have a life partner. I hope I am not one of them. I do love maths but I don't wanna sacrifice my life just because of maths.

Haix....I am quite down right now and I don't dare to find her to tell her. I am a coward, I know that. At least I have my blog to help me express it out. I am really afraid that the day will come. The day she hold another guy's hand while I still have her in my heart. I know many of you can't imagine I am in this kind of situation. It's very dangerous. It's very troublesome. This girl is great, she is always the winner in my heart. The calm BK is on long holiday...I hope he will be back...


-steam-